I get knocked down…

Dear Younger Me,

I’m going to say something that you haven’t been told, “it’s okay to not be okay.” Some days are hard…. really hard. Acknowledging you are walking through something difficult doesn’t make you weak, it makes you honest. 

If I were to be transparent with not only you but myself, I would say, “lately, life has felt like a lot.” I’m navigating rocky roads. If I just look at that, I want to freeze. On the other hand, if I remember I have had bad days before and survived, help remind me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel even if I don’t see it yet and that reminds me to proceed forward. Storms come and go, but without them we could never enjoy the growth that follows. 

I wanted to start with the idea that it’s okay to call it for what it is. That is the first step, but be cautious you don’t allow it to be the destination. You will find yourself in dark tunnels, but the goal is to go through it and find what’s waiting on the other side… DO NOT STAY THERE. 

This comes in different shapes and sizes. A couple weeks ago I had a terrible morning. You know those mornings that leave you feeling like you took a beating. I told my boyfriend about a handful of ways life had successfully knocked the wind out of me that day and he responded, “today is just not your day.” Though I appreciated his support in the moment, it hit me that I couldn’t control what had happened to me, but I still had the choice in how I responded and said, “No. It hasn’t been my morning, but it can still be my day.” 

We ended that conversation, and I went on a jog to choose to reset. I made a line in the sand between my morning and my evening. During that run, I took back my control. I proceeded to have one of the best evenings of this current season with aching abs from laughing. 

I also understand other tunnels are a bit longer, and I am currently navigating how to bring the same attitude of choosing my response in the lengthier ones. 

I don’t believe life gets easier. I do believe there are muscles I can strengthen so that I continue to get to the other side faster. Do I choose to say, “this isn’t my day,” or “this is just the beginning and it’s uphill from here.” 

It’s okay to say the tunnel isn’t where you want to be. I also know, if we look back on previous “tunnel moments” that the view on the other side and growth that followed has always been worth going through. 

I’m not writing to convince you of ground breaking truth, but because this reminder has allowed me to remember that I am choosing to move forward and grabbing encouragement to know that I’m on my way through today. 

If all you did today is make one step forward today, I am so proud of you. You chose not to stay in it. You were honest with yourself, looked at the direction you wanted to go and took action. There is a lot out of our control and I encourage you to see whatever is currently present in your mind like my morning a couple weeks ago and to take a moment to draw a line like you are on a run with me because you get to choose to receive what follows as your night- joy can be found after the roughest of mornings. Today can still be your day. 

With Love,

Older You