You can set it down

Dear Younger Me,

I have grown to look forward to this time I get to talk to you. I wonder what you have done recently? I also wonder who knows the answer to that question. 

Today, I’ll debunk the idea that “life calms down.” If there was an award for finding yourself in unpredictable situations then we would have seen our name nominated in many categories. It gives us a wild amount of content to work with in the storytelling department so that’s a perk. 

Transporting five football players and two of which are in the trunk was not the best move, but it’s one heck of a story and now I have learned to say no to transporting strangers at a gas station… well at least not more than seat belts allow. 

I don’t mean to end up in these moments. For example, that day I was just minding my own business with a friend and getting gas, but life happens. Some situations you find yourself in are funny and just roll with it. Others are complicated. No one gave me a guidebook to every situation that would happen. A few weeks ago, I started a new job. Hated it. I realized I would rather have my previous job and enjoy my life than make more money. Sometimes, you don’t know until you are in the middle of the situation. 

What did I do? I talked to my previous manager and said I’d see them tomorrow. I swallowed my pride and told everyone around me that I changed my mind, which is one of the hardest things for me to admit. I desperately want to make the “best” decision on the first try. I would rather stay at my job than quit it, start another and return while admitting that wasn’t my best decision.

As hard as it is to share out loud, I am proud of my growth. Previously, I would have stayed to try to prove something to myself. This time was different. I silenced the fear of if others might judge my choice. I sat and was honest with myself. Honestly, I love being paid to be creative right now and once I was honest with myself then I could be honest with others. The doors were open to tell my manager, “Hey, I would love to come back. This other gig isn’t a good fit.” They welcomed me with open arms. 

Since my little career roulette of 2025, I’ve started to accept that in life I will continue to find myself in circumstances that may be voluntary (let’s be real I did this one to myself) or involuntary (don’t get me started….) and just not ideal. Pickles are a part of our life. I’m not here to free you from what’s meant to be a side of a deli sandwich because I have yet to find the key to a pickle free life. 

I just want to hug you. I wish I could be the safe space you are to me. I wish you could write out all your unfiltered thoughts about whatever you are too scared to admit in fear of disappointing someone. I wish I could give you space to make a mistake. I wish I could lift this weight you hold. I can’t. I can encourage you to set down the weight. What is weighing you down? The first step is to identify the weight. Next, allow yourself to recognize why it’s not yours to carry. 

I’m so glad I allowed myself to say, “I don’t want this.” Now, I have a building that I can drive by, laugh and say, “Fun fact: I worked there for a day. It wasn’t for me.” 

Whoever might stumble across this letter, I don’t know what you think of when you think of a sticky situation. I do hope you have a friend or even a pen and paper to freely share the stream of thoughts rattling around. I hope you can share and hold nothing back, don’t let that final thought be the weight that keeps you from moving forward. I also extend my arms for a hug and just know there’s no pickle I’ve ever seen that won’t fit into a jar. Sometimes you might just need a bigger jar, but there is hope and a way out of the trickiest of situations. 

Again, I don’t know what you may be thinking because it’s probably not some silly trying out of a new job for a day type of adventure. I know in previous seasons I would have been terrified to discuss positions I’ve found myself in. I can relate to thinking, “This is suffocating, and I don’t know how I can ever recover.” I do want to encourage you that when I was able to put all the facts out there in a safe environment that I experienced healing and developed a level of compassion for others that I wouldn’t trade for the world. No matter the valley, there is opportunity for beautiful growth. 

With Love,

Older You