Being human
Dear Younger Me,
I heard a quote the other week that has been on repeat in my mind since. “It’s everyone's first time being human.” Of course that’s a fact we all know, but how often do you consider it?
Think of your biggest hurts, grudges or unforgiveness towards someone? I am so sorry you have been let down by others. That pain is real. People will continue to let you down. You will be wounded deeper than you can imagine in your early 20s to the point that you will wonder if you will smile again. You will be a “shell” wondering where the “bee” went because no buzzing will be felt. Even the most painful experience that I could imagine for you to go through can be seen in a different light when you consider this fact that “it’s just their first time being a human.”
Mistakes happen whenever we try something new, even being human. For example, how many times did you have to fall on a bike? Or how many words have you misspelled? Lord knows how many times I’ve butchered a recipe. Yet, today I am confident on two wheels, write sentences upon sentences and thrive in the kitchen. Have I mastered them all? No. I have grown and continue to refine those skills.
Can you feel your heart soften as you consider the fact that whatever that person did or said might be because this is their first time being a human? Not everyone has a parent that will steady a bike as they are learning the skill to balance and it might just take a few more attempts. When others fall, whatever is closest is at risk of being collateral damage. OUCH. No one wants that. It’s not a hobby for me at least, but as long as I am surrounded by others then it’s a possibility because today is the first time they are getting a shot at whatever is before them.
I don’t know the timeline of someone else’s growth, and I don’t need to. What I do know is I have hope that through each experience that is an opportunity to grow and to do whatever better on their second, third or how many attempts it takes them. All I can encourage you with today is this idea to have compassion for others who are on their first attempt at living life/the circumstances they are facing.
That was a lot of talk about others. Before I leave, I have something a bit more personal to leave you with. Remember to forgive yourself and not to be too hard on yourself because this is also your first time being human. You hold yourself to a high standard and it’s a beautiful quality because you care. You do and you will mess up. You will say the wrong things in thousands of conversations because you are learning to communicate and because they will be your first time processing unique circumstances. You might get frustrated with yourself and okay feel it. Just don’t stay there. It’s normal to cry if you fall off your bike, just don’t stay in the ditch. Get up, learn from your experience, give your best attempt at round two and celebrate glimpses of growth. You will do the wrong thing at times. Don’t allow those moments define you, but allow them to be a catalyst to shape your character to respond the way you desire the next time you are faced with whatever that hurdle may be.
Today is a great day for firsts, seconds and refining moments.
Talk to you soon,
Older You