It’s hard
Dear Younger Me,
There are two words I didn’t hear much and finding myself wishing someone would have said them.
I think of advice I got across seasons and encouragement. Though encouragement is nice, it left me being my biggest critic at times. What I didn’t hear was, “it’s hard.”
Yes, college is sweet and you grow. Yes, moving to different countries expands your perspective. Yes, living independently allows for freedom to make choices. Yes, so many experiences will happen in your twenties. Yes, falling in love - wow it lacks a proper description. All of those things were things I heard about, and none of the positives were wrong.
Each one wasn’t easy. I have found myself, beating myself up internally wondering if I was messing up because I wondered, “Is it just me? Why did no one tell me it would be hard?”
People warn you about running a marathon or hangovers and so when you experience soreness or throwing up from alcohol - you expect that. Getting through it isn’t “fun” but you don’t beat yourself up because you’ve been told to expect it.
Lately, I have been fighting myself because I grew up hearing the “twenties are the best years of your life,” and I think, “I have a lot to be grateful for but shoot dang… I hope this isn’t the best it gets. It’s been hard.”
I understand, once you get through the weeds and see the flowers then it’s easy to remember the beauty of a garden, but for someone starting- it’s so intimidating when you encounter a weed and not to get discouraged that you don’t have the garden yet that you’ve heard about.
If no one tells you, I want to say, “I believe you will witness the beauty and it is worth it, but don’t feel down and alone when it feels hard. Whether you heard it or not- what you are facing is normal. One day you will look back and you won’t see the pain associated with the thorns in the weeds, but you will beam at the garden that’s flourished from it.”
You aren’t the first to debate multiple paths whether it’s career, location or you name it. You aren’t the first broke 20-year-old. Actually, I discovered none of you people you see as “financially stable” were before their mid-thirties or forties. I don’t think success is about what you do or where you go- it is about who you are.
Why don’t we just normalize some of the most beautiful rewards as products of something painful. You have pains when your hungry and holy smokes does the meal that follows hit the spot. I’ve never done it, but I have some descriptive friends that have told me about childbirth and the pain was very real before the celebration. Growing as we go through life, it is painful but enduring it I have to believe is worth it.
If you find comfort in these words to know you aren’t alone, “it’s hard.” Beyond the endurance, I hope you look back and think, “though it was hard, the outcome was worth it.”
With Love,
Older You
p.s. it’s just water #stayhydrated