Eye contact

Dear Younger Me,

Have you faced any fears recently? Did it lose power after surviving and realizing you got through it? 

I have always been terrified of tornados. More than any other natural disasters. I don’t know why. A couple weeks ago, I had this vivid dream where I witnessed them in every direction. Finally, the largest one went right over me and I watched it pass and thought, “I just looked into the eye of the storm.” 

I watched it as it left. I was in awe of this beauty I witnessed in the clouds after it passed and took a photo. Though I was unconscious, I felt as if I lived it. A few days later, I found myself walking and looking at a stormy sky, I remembered my dream. 

I began to ponder why the center of a hurricane is called an eye. Yes, it is the clearest spot because the clouds are circling it, but it’s also the safest spot. 

Just for a moment, I wondered, “What if there is an eye in all the storms of life. What if in the center is where clarity is found. What if that’s where safety lies. What if the fear of the storm is more destructive than going through it.” 

All storms pass. What if the fear stops us from witnessing the rainbow. 

I relate deeply to that dream right now. Each area of life has been tested by a “storm.” I just stared at the heaviest one in the eye. In that moment of clarity, I received perspective and peace that could not be discovered by running from or avoiding the “storm.” 

As everything in my life felt like it was up in the air from the winds in “my storm,” I have sat in the middle with myself and this is where I not only got clarity on “my storm” but also internally and that’s when boldness rose within me. In my storm, I have unlocked understanding of me and what truly matters to me. 

As I wait for it to pass, as all storms do, I believe I will see beauty like I did in my dream. I’m still in the storm, yet I feel less terrified for the ones to follow because I know, I have made eye contact with my fears that came out with a fresh perspective. 

This is a wild theory, I do wonder if instead of running from what looks scary but instead journeying to the center if there resides the peace of what we so desperately try to avoid. 

I urge you not to face storms alone. I think of driving in a blizzard and how having someone in the car with me makes me think, “together, we will get to the destination,” or “we need to take a detour/slow down but we aren’t alone in the process.” 

Storms are unpredictable, they will come and they will go. I hope you learn to look beyond what’s happening at the surface and find the clarity that resides in it. 

With Love,

Older You

P.S. If you read this far, I encourage you to ask yourself, when you look in your heart what do you see and what truly matters? When you’re 80 or 606, what will leave you smiling? I know this storm will pass.